WATER

The human body is 90 percent water. Ok, that might not be the right percentage, since I made that up, but I know humans are mostly comprised of water. It’s a Googleable fact. Guess what?  Weight Watchers feels that isn’t good enough. If you are on their plan, you  have to add 64 ounces of water to your already waterlogged body.

64 ounces sound like a lot to you? It is a huge amount. It is so much water that a person complying with this requirement urinates at an average of every thirty minutes.

I have been following all the Weight Watchers rules religiously for one week today. As a matter of fact, I have to pee right now. So far, water is the hardest part of the program, in my opinion.

Drinking water when you are not thirsty is sort of like the day you have to prep for a colonoscopy. You have to drink a gallon of water that day It is brutal. But that is just one day every 10 years or so. At least the Weight Watchers water isn’t filled with noxious salts, but it is still very hard to get it all down. Every damn day.

Fellow Weight Watchers have suggested adding Crystal Light to the water to make it more palatable. Some say you should “carry a water bottle around and sip at it all day.” For me, constant sipping is annoying, and forcing that chemically fruit flavored liquid is awful. My method is to fill one 8 ounce glass of water and chug it down as fast as possible. Then I wait about an hour or so and do that again. It isn’t fun, but it is over quickly. I have to do that eight times. Eight times is a lot of times.

Eight glasses of water used to be recommended for everybody. Ridiculous–even thin folks were supposed to consume 64 ounces every day. I have Googled this. The whole idea of drinking all this water has indeed been debunked. However, the pundits at Weight Watchers International have clung to the water rule. They either know something that the scientists don’t know, or they are sadists.

I have a friend who says that even after she lost the weight, she missed all the water, and so she kept up the 8 glass habit. I think she is nuts. Remember when you used to see people carrying their water bottles around everywhere with them? This was pre-debunking. Water bottles aren’t the trend any more. I always thought the people toting around water bottles were sort of self-important, anyway. I prefer to keep my water drinking behind closed doors.

As a result, if I make plans, I have to rearrange my drinking schedule so that there is at least a two hour hiatus from the water before I go out. This puts a lot of pressure on me to “catch up” with my intake when I get home. The fallout from this is middle of the night trips to the bathroom. Then I can’t get back to sleep. It is a good thing that I am mostly antisocial in the first place–not a lot of plans to worry about.

I am hoping that when I lose the pounds I want to get rid of, the maintenance part of Weight Watchers, which goes on for the rest of your life, lets up on the water requirement. Otherwise, I may never go out for the evening again.

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