I am so glad that we don’t have young children any longer. Those Halloween nights following little goblins around with a flashlight and a beer are over. Phew. I have harrowing memories.

It’s freezing. The princess costume is totally covered with a winter coat, and the gloves make it hard to carry the plastic pumpkin full of candy. Much moaning and dragging of feet.

It’s raining. But we go out anyway. Skeleton costume covered by a raincoat. Too hard to carry both an umbrella and the plastic pumpkin not quite full enough with Halloween candy. Much slogging and moaning.

It’s incredibly windy. Leaves are blowing everywhere, especially in our faces. The clown costume is totally obscured by a zip-up fleece hoodie. The wind keeps blowing off the hoods. And the hats. Much complaining and shivering.

It’s HOT out. The entire ballerina costume is on view. But the tights are boiling. The tutu is scratchy. Nobody is giving out good candy. Much sweating and fanning.

I don’t know about you, but my kids are sure glad that they no longer have to go out Trick or Treating with their mother. All her pissing and moaning got old.

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