Have you seen the web sites and television shows about the “tiny house” movement? Fascinating. Here is what people are doing: they are getting rid of just about every single thing they own except for three outfits, two pairs of shoes, four pots with lids, a toothbrush, and their favorite pillow. The rest of their stuff they are tossing or donating or giving to their friends. Then they are going off to live in a teeny, tiny house that they can attach to the back of their SUV.

I am not lying. These houses are just the cutest things. They are about 200 square feet of efficiency. They have tiny, little stoves, tiny little heaters, two drawers, one chair, a table that folds into the wall, and a sleeping loft.

The ones I have seen are really cute. What they lack in space, they make up for in innovative and artistic stuff like onions hanging from the ceiling, bookshelves for three books, knotty pine paneling, and hand thrown pottery. Well, one piece of hand thrown pottery.

The concept is simple: you don’t really need a house. You should live outside your house, after you park it somewhere. Then, after you empty the toilet tank (you should really pay more for one of those composting toilets—much easier) and set up your solar panels for energy (park somewhere sunny, you fool!), you can run through the woods and frolic. Or if you plan to stay awhile, grow your own veggies. If it is cold or rainy, then I guess you have to stay inside the tiny but cute little house and read one of the three books.

According to Joe Blow, who was happily married at the time of his interview, “We have learned to really respect each other’s space (There is actually enough space for each of you?). We have learned to put our things (you mean thing?) away after use. We actually like being cozy and mobile.

Well, I have never equated being cozy with being mobile, but here is the thing: I think Joe and his wife probably spent their honeymoon in that tiny house. He and his wife Martha had an idyllic time in the loft, and romping in the woods, yes. And on that one rainy day, they read a book, ok.

But my theory is this: Martha wanted to get a good night’s sleep, but Joe’s snoring resounded against the knotty pine. There was about a quart of water in the tiny, little tank, so Martha had to take sponge baths, even though there was a “shower” in the house, but it required standing on top of the composting toilet, holding a wand resembling a hairbrush. Joe sneezed and the front window broke. Martha got tired of hiking.

So Joe and Martha put their tiny house up for sale on Ebay for three thousand dollars. A hermit bought it. Apparently, all the hermits just adore them.

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