There are quite a few things that in my view are ill-advised, all around terrible ideas, and I cannot imagine why these things ever caught on. So I grabbed a pencil and made a NOPE list of stuff that should just have never been invented:
- Bedazzled anything.
- Putting fruit on pizza.
- Overnight oats.
- Fig Newtons.
- Asparagus Water.
- Stilettos.
- Individual false eyelashes.
- Burpees–the ones at the gym.
- Picnics. Eating outside is fraught.
- Charging for checking bags on airplanes. Really–will that steamer trunk fit in the overhead?
- Salad in a Mason Jar.
- Charcoal ice cream. Come ON.
- Selfies!
- LOL.
- Pay toilets.
- Home cooking.
- Recipes. The ones I have to make.
- Tied in with 17 above, recipes with more than four ingredients.
- Tied in with 18 above, RISOTTO. My God, all that stirring!
- Tied in with 19 above, BONE BROTH. What is wrong with chicken broth, for heaven’s sake?
- Meals, in general.
- Oh, yeah. Vacuuming.
- And laundry. What we need is someone to invent disposable clothing!
- The To-Do list.
I feel much better to get all of this out in the open. Now I can take a nap.