THE NO LIST

There are quite a few things that in my view are ill-advised, all around terrible ideas, and I cannot imagine why these things ever caught on. So I grabbed a pencil and made a NOPE list of stuff that should just have never been invented:

1. Bedazzled anything.
2. Putting fruit on pizza.
3. Overnight oats.
4. Fig Newtons.
5. Asparagus Water.
6. Stilettos.
7. Individual false eyelashes.
8. Burpees–the ones at the gym.
9. Picnics. Eating outside is fraught.
10. Charging for checking bags on airplanes. Really–will that steamer trunk fit in the overhead?
11. Salad in a Mason Jar.
12. Charcoal ice cream. Come ON.
13. Selfies!
14. LOL.
15. Pay toilets.
16. Home cooking.
17. Recipes. The ones I have to make.
18. Tied in with 17 above, recipes with more than four ingredients.
19. Tied in with 18 above, RISOTTO. My God, all that stirring!
20. Tied in with 19 above, BONE BROTH. What is wrong with chicken broth, for heaven’s sake?
21. Meals, in general.
22. Oh, yeah. Vacuuming.
23. And laundry. What we need is someone to invent disposable clothing!
24. The To-Do list.

I feel much better to get all of this out in the open. Now I can take a nap.