It took trying on four pairs of jeans for me to realize that I had a happy pandemic, as far as food is concerned. My old size is not working for me. I am sad that I had to re-up my membership to what used to be called Weight Watchers, but now is just a catchy set of initials: WW.
Here is a list of what I will be trying to love over the next month, or as long as it takes me to get back into those jeans in my closet:
- Kale
- Water
- Poached eggs
- Butter spray
- Whole wheat everything
- Zoodles (not exactly sure what they are, but they sound nothing like pasta)
- Oatmeal, which everyone in the world but me thinks is filling
- Cauliflower rice
- Quinoa
- Calling cherry tomatoes a snack
- Skinless boneless chicken
- Counting points
- Portion control
- Limitless blueberries
- All the bamboo shoots you can eat
Here is a list of what I will yearn for:
- Real pasta
- Real butter
- More than one half slice of cheese
- Popsicles, because I can’t seem to stop at one
- Pizza
- Smiling over a big helping of mac and cheese
- Appetizers
- Real butter
- Ordering fries with that
- White rice
- Asking for the dessert menu
However, I look forward to:
- Sliding effortlessly into my pants
- Laughing gaily as I pass on dessert
- Feeling stuffed after eating three Triscuits
- Wondering why on earth anyone would want seconds
- Turning away in disgust at a bowl of Fritos
- Feeling at one with Oprah and that English guy from Carpool Karaoke
- Going off WW
It will be fine. I am a determined person. My pants await.