Dogs. What’s not to like? They are so portable. You can get yours certified as an “emotional support animal” and take him with you on the plane and out to lunch. I love dogs. I have had two of them in my life, both of whom I mourned terribly when they were gone. I currently have a grand pup, whom I also adore.

This is not about them. I have been a cat person my entire life. I have had so many of them that I have lost count. I could not envision my life without at least one cat right there with me.

For those of you who slavishly adore your dogs, let me explain to you how silly you are. Dogs are fine. Cats are the fineEST.

Cat fur, if you are not allergic to it, is the softest, most luxurious wonderful stuff. It isn’t surprising that so many varieties of cats have been driven to near extinction by women wanting to have coats made out of their pelts. Fur next to the face equals sublime relaxation, happiness, and the release of all of the happiness brain hormones with the long names I can’t spell.

Cat purr does the same thing.

Reading, knitting, watching television, napping–all those things are enhanced by having a cat on your lap or stretched out beside you. Read a paragraph, knit a row, or fast forward through a commercial while idly stroking your kitty. Snore right into his tummy. He won’t mind.

If you happen to drop your cat while toting him upstairs, he will land on his feet. A dog won’t do this, and you might have to rush him to the vet while apologizing for letting him fall from your arms. Granted, most dogs will forgive you, but still. Your cat won’t need to consider forgiveness.

Your dog will interrupt your lunch or dinner, whining and begging for tidbits. A cat would never do this. Cats, if interested, will jump on the counter while you are making lunch or dinner and simply have a taste.

Cats are excellent at keeping your home free of mice. Your dog will watch the mouse run along the baseboard and look over at you as if to say, “What in the hell was that?”

Cats converse with you. Siamese cats are especially adept at this. I have had many long and  fascinating convos with my cats, whereas I have never once asked a dog a question that he was able to answer.

Cats don’t feel the need to slobber on anyone.

Dogs are not interested in sitting next to you as you count how many Cardinals are flitting around your bird feeder. My cats, however, are keeping a list of the number of species they have observed out there on the suet cakes, and if I am not available to bird watch, they do it by themselves. Dogs don’t have hobbies.

A picture is worth a thousand words.


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