I wish I looked in the pantry before I went to the grocery, because I now have three bottles of Worcestershire Sauce. This happens a lot when I get to the store for recipe ingredients and can’t remember whether or not I have some at home. There are other duplicate jars of things in the pantry as well, but you catch my drift.
Here is a list of other regrets, in no particular order:
- I didn’t go wild in college. As a matter of fact, going wild never occurred to me until going wild was totally inappropriate and out of character.
- I never realized that some day I would have “old people skin,” and so I didn’t appreciate the young skin that I had.
- Guess what? Being “fat” is relative. All those years that I thought I was fat–I wasn’t.
- Per going wild (see above), I never threw caution to the winds, either.
- I have never tweeted something that went viral.
- I didn’t learn how to do a cartwheel. What kind of person has never done a cartwheel, for God’s sake?
- Oh, my God. I don’t know how to swim, either.
- I still can’t pronounce schadenfreude.
- If only I liked salmon. Everybody in the world thinks it is delicious. It looks delicious. But it smells awful, and if I try it, I gag. Is this genetic, or can one learn to like something? I learned to like champagne! But every single time I give salmon another chance, it lets me down in a big way.
- I am terrible at names. Sometimes, I manage to remember your name after being introduced to you, only to find out that your name is Sarah, not Sandra. And the next time I see you, what do I do? I call you Sandra.
- I seldom understand poetry.
- I don’t give my husband enough credit. Yes, he is way too friendly. But all of his many friends think that is just fine. Me? I have three, maybe four friends…
- In this age of trouble all over, people rely on meditation and yoga–things that bring inner peace. I have yet to sit in the lotus position and deep breathe without thinking about the fact that we are running out of toilet paper.
- So I just worry about everything.