FRIDGESCAPING
I have a lot of time on my hands, it’s true. Some days, I look around from the fourth episode of 48 Hours that I have seen without a break, and I think to myself: “Molly, you should do something productive, like Swiffing the hall. I don’t, but I think about it before switching to 20/20.
Today, I turned off the tv and decided to look online for things that people with time on their hands do. Things that I might take inspiration from. Have you heard of Rajiv Surendra? He has a YouTube channel that I love to watch. Rajiv is so adorable. The problem with Rajiv is that what he wants me to do is wash my window wells, clean my baseboards, or make my own silver polish with things I already have in my pantry. I gave my silver to my daughter, and I took one look at my window wells and decided to put off cleaning them until 2030. I simply ignore my baseboards.
But today, I stumbled onto a thing. A thing that people do who have completed all of Rajiv’s projects and long ago surpassed Martha Stewart. This is the truth: they decorate the inside of their refrigerators. This is so that when the fridge door is opened, the person looking for a cold snack instantly forgets hunger and is transported by the beauty of the interior of the icebox. It’s beautiful. It’s aesthetic. It’s color coordinated. There’s a bouquet in there, on purpose.
Here are my questions:
- Why?
- Is the bouquet real, or can you use plastic flowers?
- Will your husband open the fridge door and after saying “WTF?” immediately want a divorce, because the sock drawer is one thing, but this crosses the line?
- Are you trying to make your friends jealous?
- What do you do with all of the milk jugs, egg cartons, mayonnaise jars, and juice bottles that you replace with decorative containers? Trash them? Who takes out that trash? Oh, right–your husband–the one who wants a divorce.
- How often do you open the fridge door to admire it?
- How do you get your guests to do the same? Or do you throw open the fridge door at every opportunity, saying something like, “Would anyone like a cold drink out of this antique jug I picked up during our last trip to Spain? It’s food safe!”
- Do you need a hobby?
- Did you get this idea from Joanna Gaines?
I guess I should clean my baseboards.