There are dog people. There are cat people. There is a difference.
Dog people seem to feel that they don’t have enough children. Having an overabundance of the nurturing instinct, dog people view their pups as their kids. Dogs know this, and they oblige with their complete unconditional love, their willingness to go along anywhere with their “parents,” their need to follow commands and be “the best boy (even if female),” and their immense talent for being adorable.
Cat people love beautiful things. They are sensualists. Those feline orbs glowing yellowly or greenly are the eyes of Gods. The velvety texture of the fur and the gentle roar of a purr are soothing and bring a sense of well-being to those who are lucky enough to have a cat draped across their lap.
It is complete nonsense that cats are aloof. Come on! I have met at least a dozen aloof pooches in my life. Some of them even growl when you approach. Yes, there are independent cats, but to call the domestic house cat aloof is ridiculous. I have a cat sitting on my shoulder this very minute. He thinks he has the makings of an editor.
I have to be honest, however. I have much more cat experience than I do with dogs. There have been at least twenty cats who have padded quietly through my life, and only two dogs. Both of these dogs I would classify as introverts, who preferred our company to that of the general public, so perhaps the dogs I loved have been more like cats.
If I had a dog, here is what I would do:
- Get a girl pup.
- Because you can then buy your girl dog a complete wardrobe of pink, polka dotted, purple and green striped, or paisley dog collars.
- When it is cold or rainy, they have the cutest dog jackets! I would get at least four.
- Dogs will let you hug them for hours. So this is what I would do.
- I would have TV nights, in which my dog and I would binge watch things.
- I would train my dog to howl on command.
I have four cats, currently. This is what I do:
- Try to do yoga, but have a lot of trouble due to the cat walking back and forth underneath me during the “downward facing dog.”
- Read my Kindle with a cat parked directly in front of it.
- Place my nose in the side of a sleeping cat and breathe deeply.
- Wonder where that cat pee smell is coming from.
- Have a conversation with a Siamese.
- Sleep every night with a cat on my head.
- Try to avoid scooping the litter boxes.
Here is my true confession: Although I identify as a cat person, I have definite dog leanings. But I can tell you this: I would never want a parrot. He would tell the world how often I use the F word. Good grief. Those bird people have a lot of self esteem.
Oh, and don’t forget to pick up your copy of the above book. Summer reading. Planes, trains, and automobiles! And the beach! Available at all book outlets online.