HIM: Are those your new glasses?
ME: Yes! What do you think?
HIM: Those look identical to your old ones.
ME: No, no. The old ones were more square, and they had pink on the edges. These have green.
HIM: But you couldn’t see the pink part. And you can’t see the green, either. So they are the same.
ME: NO. These have more tortoise shell. Really, you have no fashion sense. I like these better.
HIM: You look the exact same. I bet not one person today will say, “Hey, are those new glasses?”
ME: Well, for sure, no men will.
HIM: Why did you need new glasses, by the way?
ME: I was tired of the old ones. I wanted to change things up.
HIM: Thank God you aren’t that adventurous, or I might not recognize you. You are the woman who has had the same hair style for forty years, after all. I guess your choice of specs is understandable.
ME: You are the person who has worn corduroys and flannel shirts for forty winters, but let’s not get snarky.
HIM: Snarky? Isn’t that dried beef?
ME: I rest my case. My glasses case.
So here is the proof. These glasses are completely different. If you are a woman.