ANOTHER YEAR OF HIDING FROM EVERYBODY

There were exactly two weeks in 2021 when we all felt fine about going around without masks. It was after we all had our second vaccinations and the required “two weeks” had passed. It was blissful! We went to stores open faced. My husband and I even considered going inside a restaurant, but then realized that was just a bit too bold.

Then they said our shots were dimming in strength. Oh, no! Then the boosters came out. We got those, and felt somewhat relieved. But before the holidays came around, OMICRON happened. Good grief. The holidays would be ruined!

We had plane reservations already made to fly to California for Christmas, and so despite my anxiety and thanks to Xanax, we flew to LA for Christmas anyway. The protocol I insisted upon saved our asses. I am claiming this contrary to any evidence that this is indeed true, but we are living in the days of “truth is in the eye of the beholder,” and so–as I said, I saved us from Omicron.

If you want to fly, here are my tips:

  • Start wearing a mask an hour a day to get used to it. It will be moist in there, and you have to avoid touching it or reaching under it to scratch your nose. My husband did neither of these, however.
  • Take a mask to wear on each leg of your journey.
  • Take Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer.
  • Fly in first class, but save money by having your husband fly in steerage. He has virtually no anxiety about anything. Plus, you will avoid watching him NOT sterilize his armrests or tray table, and also eating and drinking without his mask. Don’t even THINK about him forgetting to put his mask back on.
  • Sanitize your seat belt buckle. You heard me.
  • Offer Clorox wipes to the guy sitting next to you. Pretend he isn’t rolling his eyes.
  • Don’t eat anything on the plane. If you have to, do it fast–or sneak bites under your mask.
  • Don’t attack any other passengers or punch the flight attendants.

Flying isn’t for everyone right now; I get it. We did make it there and back without contracting anything, HOORAY.

The other parts of 2021 were spent basically hunkering down and living like hermits. Yes, we did begin going to a few places with our masks on, but the main events of the year were dinner every night here at the house, TV shows, and naps. We have gotten used to this. My husband has even attended a play! He provided his vaccination card, wore his mask, and when he got home, I doused him in hand sanitizer, washed all his clothes in hot water, and put his shoes outside on the balcony to “air out.”

We are just like the rest of you. Or like most of you. Or maybe some of you. I bet we are on the same page with Dr. Fauci, though…

 

 

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