FALL

 

It’s fall. I wanted a pumpkin or two. Have you noticed that pumpkins are now so incredibly varied? They come in all colors. They have warts. They come in all kinds of shapes. This makes it difficult to choose one. So naturally, I got three.

It’s the same with mums. Less is not more. I in order to have a really nice display, I had to get five.

I think this is a marketing ploy. All the farmers got together and decided that just one of something was not profitable. So they put their heads together and created all the varietals of fall things that are so tempting to consumers–so that just one pumpkin or gourd and a single are way too skimpy. What used to be a nod to fall is now a full display of autumn richness, and neighbors must compete to have the best stoop.

And what about all the other holidays and seasons? People seem to feel they have to decorate for everything. Halloween, Thanksgiving. There are Easter egg trees, Fourth of July extravaganzas, New Year’s inflatable babies in diapers, and the list goes on. We no sooner take down one set of decorations before we have to haul out the next ones. It’s exhausting.

But the merchandisers never stop. They invent inflatables. Icicle lights. Things that can be computer programmed to twinkle, turn, and spell out things. We have those projectors that make the whole house lit with rotating dots, snowflakes, or leering snowmen. I have even seen rotating turkeys on houses in November!

Now we have lawn decor for our favorite sports teams, political leanings, or existential proclamations. It is a full time job just to rotate your yard decor.

Blame the farmers who invented white pumpkins. I am just saying…

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