My back hurts. All the time, but especially after I spend hours bending over, doing my favorite hobby, pottery. I am terrible at it, but it is a whole lot of fun. But when I am finished potting for the day and come home, my back muscles scream.
There are exercises for this, and every day I look at the videos that physical therapists post for back relief. I try all of them, looking for the perfect set of stretches and strengthening ones that will, according to these therapists, “release that knot instantly.” None have done the trick so far. Not instantly, for sure. They all promise instant relief. When relief isn’t instant, I resume searching.
Today, my husband left for church at 8:45. I had just started my exercises. He got home at 11:30, and I was still on the floor, my phone beside me, following along with physical therapist number 12. Nothing had been instant.
You don’t need to worry that I am exercising way too much. Because some of the exercises the therapists suggest are absolutely impossible. I either don’t bend that way, I can’t get my arms to wrap that way, my knees hurt if I squat down that far, or my shoulders won’t flatten against the wall like that. Thus, a lot of the time spent between when my husband leaves and comes back from church are spent down some internet rabbit hole for people with tight backs.
I had no idea that there are 100 exercises for your rhomboids. And my trapezius is screwed as well. And I can’t remember the names of the muscles in my lower back and sides, but they all need help. And there are individual exercises for each of them. As soon as I can find the right ones, I will have my own exercise regimen.
In the meantime, I will continue on the floor in my pajamas, searching for just the right physical therapist. You are probably thinking “Why don’t you go to one in person?” But that costs money, and the internet therapists are free! Some of them have nice voices and interesting outfits. And they are all very serious and professional.
One of them is bound to show me one that gives me that instant relief. That therapist is out there. I just have to stay on the floor and keep searching.
Meanwhile:
