The world is a scary place right now. We are warned constantly that our “information” is being mined like crazy by absolutely everybody: advertisers, the government, law enforcement, and God knows who else. They know everything about us. I started thinking about this yesterday after watching a YouTube video on privacy and what you have to do to protect yours. After the first minute, I realized that I would have to be a technical wizard or a nine-year-old to plumb the depths of my iPhone to find all the toggles that I would have to untoggle in order to be safe. It made me anxious, and confused, so I stopped doing that.
I then remembered all the crime shows I have watched and the murder podcasts I have listened to. Yipes! The detectives always look at the suspects’ laptops where they uncover the search history. This inevitably leads them to the motive, or the murder weapon, or the fact that the suspect orders strange underwear online. This leads them to solve the murder.
I guess all sorts of people besides murder investigators are now checking our online histories, for all sorts of nefarious reasons. We don’t have privacy any more.
Oh, no.
If my information were to be examined, I would be SO embarrassed , because here are some of the things I have Googled:
- If you are in New York City, is it true that you are always at least ten feet away from a rat?
- What is an incubus?
- What happens if you accidentally swallow dental floss?
- Is it true that if you can’t get up off the floor without using your hands, you are going to die soon?
- Does your breath have DNA?
- Is leftover rice really poison?
- Are most women’s boobs uneven?
- Why are chickpeas suddenly so popular?
- Do they still do lobotomies?
- Does walking in winter burn off more calories than walking in summer?
- Why are so many doctors fat?
- If I order something unusual on Amazon, will someone in the government find out?
- Can it be a cult if only three people are in it?
- Why does eating a hard boiled egg give me hiccups?
- Can you die from hiccups?
- Do they still make Carter’s Little Liver Pills?
You know they say that your phone, Alexa, Siri, and your iPad are listening to you. So be careful what you say. For instance, don’t tell your spouse you’d like to kill them too often. Better yet, just write that down on a piece of paper and hand it to them. Then tear it up and eat it. These days, you just can’t be too careful.
