I have done some research into what really happened on that first Thanksgiving. We have no idea.
- Originally, Thanksgiving was a day of fasting. This was probably because the Pilgrims were ignorant about how to survive in the “New World.” The Native Americans had to help them, and maybe that first time they didn’t feel like showing the Pilgrims how to do anything.
- When they got around to feasting, after the first fasting day, the Native Americans did show the ignorant Pilgrims how to cook stuff. There was no turkey. Instead, there were swans and lobsters. Pumpkin pie was unheard of at that time. I wish it were still unheard of.
- There were only FOUR women at the first Thanksgiving. This explains the swans and the lobsters.
- Squanto was the interpreter for the Native Americans to the Pilgrims. I bet Squanto isn’t popular among Native Americans today.
- Jingle Bells was originally a Thanksgiving song. Really. Google it.
- We don’t stuff turkey any more because it isn’t safe, despite the fact that the entire generation of Baby Boomers grew up eating stuffed turkey, and nobody died from that.
- The first Thanksgiving feast was actually in 1621 in San Elizario, Texas. It consisted mostly of fish. (I am thankful that this didn’t become an American tradition, as I gag whenever I smell salmon).
- They didn’t have forks at the first Thanksgiving. I guess they ate those swans with spoons and their fingers. I suppose the Pilgrims were pretty hungry, so eating swans with their fingers was due to starvation. It was the Wampanoag Indian tribe who assisted with the swans. They also had eels. Really, those Pilgrims must have been totally starving.
- TV dinners were invented because there were so many leftovers that the Swanson Company was made aware of this, and they saw a niche opportunity to invent those frozen dinners on the aluminum trays. Wow. I wonder who called them and told them they just couldn’t deal with all of that cold turkey on Friday?
- The average number of calories consumed on Thanksgiving is 4,500. It is a wonder that any of us survive the coma that follows the meal. And yet, Americans feel the need for dessert afterwards. This may be why it is usually pumpkin pie, which the majority of Americans polled reported that they hate.
- Turkeys can have heart attacks. The article I read said “Nobody knows why.” Duh. It’s because they are stressed about their impending slaughter.
- A lot of folks make macaroni and cheese for a Thanksgiving side. Frankly, I can’t imagine eating mac and cheese on the same plate as gravy. It must just be me.
- The original Thanksgiving lasted 3 days. There were probably no leftovers, which is why there aren’t swan TV dinners.
- “Good china” is used at Thanksgiving. Along with the “good silver,” which all of us Baby Boomers keep around, taking up space, just for the two times a year we use it. This is because our adult children (Which gen are they? Z? Millenials? I get very confused about the gens) insist on tradition, and yet when asked if they WANT the good china or good silver, the response is always a resounding no.
Happy Thanksgiving.
