Dayton, Ohio. Saturday morning. A busy day ahead.
Do you remember when you used to make fun of old people? You know, the ones with boring lives? We are no longer making fun, because we are not young. This is the dismal truth. I still have trouble grappling with the fact that some of our neighbors in the building “check on us” whenever an ambulance pulls up. My God! But facts are facts.
So. What is a busy Saturday like for old people like us? Well, here is a bullet list:
- Have a grocery meeting. What do we need? What will we have for dinner this week?
- No meals with black beans; we had enchiladas last Tuesday.
- Check to see if we need olive oil.
- Make addendums to the list.
- Grab the reusable bags.
- Head to Kroger, where they have remodeled the store; it is now HUGE.
- Search for dill pickles; the dill pickle aisle is not where it used to be.
- Chat briefly in the cookie section with a neighbor, and remind husband that he HATES Vanillla Wafers. He looks me in the eye and places them in the cart.
- Eye the self check-out and decide once again not to try it. Maybe next time.
- Try not to explain to the checker why we are buying three different types of mouthwash. He doesn’t need to know our business. No matter how tempting it is to discuss plaque and such.
- Load up the trunk, congratulating ourselves once again that we got one of those shopping wagons, to make lugging stuff into the elevator SO much easier.
- Listen as my husband makes small talk with the man in our building who has a brand-new Mercedes. The man says, “Yes, yes!” A lot.
- Gently take my husband by the elbow and whisper into his ear, “Charlie, that man does not speak English…”
- Unload the groceries upstairs, shaking the box of Vanilla Wafers and pointing out that these will end up in the trash.
- Discuss at length what show we will watch after dinner–Grantchester or D I Ray?
- I vote for Grantchester, since I have been confused by D I Ray from the get-go.
This is only SATURDAY. The rest of the week is nearly this exciting.
