Let’s talk about food. I’ll start with the fact that whenever we eat at friends’ houses, I am stumped with how they all seem to be able to eat about a quarter of what’s on their plates and then stop. As if they are full. Meanwhile, I have finished every morsel of my first helpings, and I need more. For instance, there are more than enough chicken thighs on the serving platter for everybody to have two, but I am the only diner who reaches for a second thigh.
Do people eat sandwiches before they go out, so that they can do this skimpy dining? Or is everyone else on the planet satisfied with one chicken thigh, two slices of roasted potato, and one roasted carrot? And the salad–when the hostess brings out the salad bowl for eight guests with what looks to me like barely enough salad for two people?
Corn. On the cob. Every other person has one ear, and they seem completely satisfied. It’s corn season, folks–as far as I am concerned, every person should have at least three ears for dinner, because come September, there will be no good cobs available.
It’s even worse in restaurants! I can eat a whole calzone by myself. But I know couples who split one. Or worse, they order a single entree to split. Imagine having half of a pork chop and two tablespoon of mashed potatoes. It’s just wrong.
Dessert. Don’t order a piece of pie and four forks, for God’s sake. And yet, everybody seems to think this is just fine. As for me, getting but one bite of Key Lime is gustatory sin. Do we all feel that if we get our own dessert we will be harshly judged for gluttony?
I wonder if the people who can’t seem to finish their dinners in the restaurant take their styrofoam boxes “for lunch tomorrow” finish them the minute they get in the door. I can even imagine them cramming French fries into their mouths in the car as they leave the parking lot. I have never in my life asked for a box. Oh, no.
Does this mean that I am truly alone in all this? Perhaps “everyone” is normal, and I am actually way too hungry? Should I order one dessert and four spoons? What if it’s ME?
Oh, no.