Since the advent of the blog, my life has become SO much more complicated. Suddenly, the straightforward life in the Campbell household has become a logistical nightmare. How can I get everything done that needs seeing to?

Attending to my husband. I pride myself on being liberated. I don’t do anything for Charlie that he can accomplish himself. Some things, however, are just beyond him. Walking the dog is well within his abilities. Brushing the dog is WAY too difficult. Loading the dishwasher—fine. Wiping the counters? Impossible. Going upstairs, yes. TAKING THINGS UPSTAIRS? Forget it. Meals? He can eat ‘em! Cook em? Forget it! And somebody has to buy those groceries.

Housework. I pride myself on the fact that as soon as one of the cats vomits, I clean it up. My wood floors have minimal detritus, and all of the lamps in the house have working light bulbs. I throw away all junk mail during the week that it is received. The carpets are vacuumed whenever the fur covering them becomes too obvious. All this takes time.

Physical fitness. Who coined the truism that “if you don’t use it, you lose it?” I simply must go to the gym and work out. Plus, at my gym, at any one time, there are about twenty guys that lift weights, box, and run on the treadmill. These are guys with large muscles, gleaming sweaty bodies, and an average age of 25. These men bear watching. One can learn a lot via observation. I observe and learn from these men on a daily basis!

Summer yard maintenance. Those flowers don’t water themselves! I have at least six pots of assorted flora that require daily attention. This task takes at LEAST ten minutes a day. After watering, the hose must be rewound. Two minutes. Oh, and the bird feeders! When I remember, I fill those. Five minutes.

Blog research and development. I am learning that to be really good at this, one must visit at least twenty blogs a day, to evaluate style, substance, and participate in chat rooms. This is essential to becoming an effective blogger myself. The internet has SO MANY good blogs: some have games, others have cute cat pictures, many have hilarious jokes, and a lot of them have very interesting philosophies on politics, life, Sarah Palin, global warming, urban planning, liposuction, and tattooing. This activity consumes huge pockets of time. One Scrabble game in particular lasted for an hour, and by the time I had accumulated 300 points in triple word scores and achieved the “expert” level, it was four o’clock in the afternoon!

The results? OMG, I am STRESSED! My new lifestyle is causing chaos! I have had to RUSH things. We had EGGS for dinner tonight! I wore my PJ’s until after lunch! I had to cut my workout today to 20 minutes! I forgot to put new water in the bird bath, which might result in a mosquito infestation! Charlie asked me why we had coffee creamer in the refrigerator, but no coffee to put it in! I totally forgot to use dental floss, the laundry from two days ago is still sitting in the washer getting smelly, and there is a pile of catalogs on the table in the hall that I HAVE NOT HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT!

I guess I will have to make some adjustments in order to meet my new daily goals.

I am thinking that starting tomorrow, I will have to get up before noon…

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