REMAIN CALM

Every single hour, news breaks. A new scandal, crime, investigation, somebody uses a bad word, somebody shoots people, the globe gets hotter, you name it. Are you getting outrage fatigue?

I certainly am becoming weary of the constant buffeting of horrible things. Nevertheless, I can’t seem to stop myself from checking Twitter a couple of times an hour, just in case the President resigns. But then I look at my cats, who seem to know how to relax, and I compile a list of things that I can do to even things out in my tattered psyche.

  • Binge watch something. This takes one’s mind off of the world in a big way. My husband thinks bingeing is a complete waste of time. I tell him bingeing is really just the same thing as reading a book you can’t put down. He reminds me that he is totally capable of putting a book down. He thinks it’s calming to go down into the basement (where there are seven litter boxes, incidentally) and hammer and saw things. This is clearly an indication that he, and all other men in basements, have no credibility.
  • Read. See above, about not putting the book down. I find that chillers about serial killers are especially diverting. Until bedtime, when it sounds as if there is a large man snapping twigs as he creeps around outside the house.
  • Exercise. Global warming has made taking walks in January very pleasant. Until I begin to fret that the reason I can stroll around in a light jacket means that the planet is  dying. Then I think about the future of my grandchildren and become depressed.
  • Napping. This is very effective. Especially if there is a cat at your side, similar to the one in the photo, above. Cats purr, and purring releases oxytocin in the listener. Or melatonin, or is it novocain? Whatever it is, it makes you feel better.
  • Eating. It is a shame that eating all the time is not good for you, because let’s face it–the only time you are totally carefree is while chewing a) mashed potatoes and gravy, b)    waffles drenched in syrup, c) cake and ice cream, d) grilled sausages with spicy mustard, or e) all of the above. I eat two meals a day now. This is tough, because I wake up hungry, spend the latter part of the afternoon hungry, and go to bed hungry. I guess that thinking of eating could be considered to take one’s mind off of bigger problems, but I wager that the populations of third world countries would disagree.
  • Dancing. This is only for people with intact joints.
  • Sex. See intact joints above.
  • Having a hobby. The word “hobby” is in itself so lame that I cannot imagine having one. Hobbies these days are what, “gaming?” Knitting? That is a noble occupation, but I can’t knit. Don’t want to learn. Nobody collects stamps, because emails. Taxidermy? Nope. Checking social media? Yes. I have that hobby. But that takes me right back to the state of the world, and I get upset all over again.

I am just going to wait around until Robert Mueller makes his move, recreational marijuana becomes legal in Ohio, or my husband says we should consider getting a puppy.

 

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