IT’S NOT HEAVY, IT’S MY BLANKET

Times are tough for those of us who are in our right minds. There is so much stress. Wildfires that truly are Hell on earth. Politics. The leader of our nation discussing raking forest floors and other inanities. I did heave a sigh of relief over the Blue Wave, but things in the news continue to be scary. Wars all over the globe. Famine. Ebola. The ever looming global warming. I am losing sleep over all of this.

There is a solution out there. Everybody on Instagram is talking about Gravity Blankets. You read that right. These are blankets that are heavy. When you pull one of these blankets over you, it weighs you down. According to the ads, the blankets make you feel secure, nested, and calm.

I have not rushed right out to order one of these, because my husband is on a crusade to get rid of things around here. We have plenty of blankets. If I were to buy another one, I am afraid he would sneak into the closet where I keep my favorite quilts and bedspreads and have a cull. That would cause me more stress, and I am not sure that a heavy blanket would compensate for the loss of the quilts that my daughters made in Home Economics classes in High School. Sentimental value!

I have friends who have gotten the heavy blankets, and they love them. As a matter of fact, they liked their first one so much, they ordered another one, so that both of them could use them at the same time. I haven’t seen much of them lately; apparently they are so relaxed that they never leave the house.

I have questions about the heavy blankets. Wouldn’t they be as hot as Hell? Does the heaviness make a person lethargic or tired from supporting all of that weight? Do heavy blankets suffocate people who pull them over their heads by accident? What makes these blankets so heavy–weights? If it’s weights, are they accessible, so that a really anxious person can add more if needed? You know the principle: if some is good, more must be better. But, and this is a big but, can a very anxious person manage to climb out from under the heavy blanket, or is assistance needed?

The whole heavy concept is fascinating. Will there be heavy clothing, like a heavy turtleneck, so that you can be calm when you aren’t in bed? Maybe heavy jeans. Those would make your thighs feel much better. Maybe a heavy hat. Most of our anxiety is in our heads. A hat makes sense. Unless it is  too heavy, resulting in a heaviness headache.

I bet the inventor of Gravity Blankets was on Shark Tank. I missed that episode. I did watch the episode about the gloves that you put on that light up–you know, so you can do disco hands in neon colors in the comfort of your own home. I am not going to order a pair of those, either.

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