PACKING

What a horrible week! Fires, hurricanes, floods. It seems like the apocalypse, but my husband says it isn’t, and since I believe everything he says, I am not scared out of my wits yet.

But watching all of those poor souls who lost everything but what they could carry with them got me thinking. What would I take if somebody told us a hurricane was coming and I had to leave in a couple of hours?

The cats. This might be all we could manage, because they absolutely hate being loaded up into the carriers. It would take every bit of time they gave us to round them up. Once we stuffed one in, another might escape. But assuming we could drag them by their tails and load them into the car, what else?

Medications. Sweep them into a dopp kit along with soap, deodorant, toothbrushes and toothpaste. Hurry, hurry! The pills, the pills! Okay then. My jewels? That’s easy; I am wearing them! Wait, they said to take food and water! Okay–three bags of chips, Triscuits, get that jar of salsa, and fill up some water bottles. Check! Grab that six-pack of Corona!

Kibble. Oh my God, cat litter! And at least one cat box. We are not making good time!

They said clothes-go upstairs and get your jeans and my new leggings–I can’t look drab at the shelter! Only the good golf shirts–take four. Check! UNDERPANTS!!!

One hour left? My God! We pass each other racing around the living room. Get the computers and the phones! What are you doing? Put that ACCORDION down! 

Tick, tick. Okay–a bunch of bananas, some cheese sticks (only the Sargento–the Kraft ones are awful), and maybe a bag of frozen berries so we don’t get scurvy, hurry UP! What are we forgetting? OMG my leg pillow! And while you are upstairs, grab the Tums and some aspirin!

Oh,  grab our Wedding Album! No, no! That’s the scrapbook of our trip to Niagara Falls! Never mind, drop it! We can just remember our wedding! And don’t even think of taking your golf clubs! Come, ON! Wait–grab your nasal trimmer!

I read an article that named the ten safest cities in the United States, disaster-wise. Dayton was number six. This is a blessing, because my husband and I would be among the first to die, as soon as the Triscuits and Corona were gone.

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