MIDSUMMER

Climate change is turning Dayton into a sort of rainforest. We have had so much precipitation that the lushness is overtaking us. The lawn has to be mowed constantly. There are mosquitoes everywhere. It is so humid that I break out into a sweat inside the air conditioned house whenever I exert myself even slightly. Folding laundry requires a shower afterwards.

The lushness is glorious, however. I feel almost as if we have retired to Florida without leaving home. The sound of rain hitting the roof is very cozy, and we have gotten used to carrying umbrellas with us.

Winter is another matter, however. I like snow in winter. Christmas in the rain when it is warm enough outside to go without a coat is just wrong. Sleigh bells-my grandchildren won’t even know what they are. Santa may have to start wearing Bermuda shorts.

I donated my down coat to Goodwill. I am not sure if it will make it all the way to Lapland or Alaska, or somewhere that is cold enough for winter coats. I am keeping my Uggs, though, because they “breathe.” I am not sure that breathing boots are a good thing, but I see girls wearing Uggs in late summer, so the Uggs may be good for those days when it cools down and I need something a bit warmer than loafers.

The electric blanket manufacturers must all be hiring lobbyists to talk to the President about global warming. They must fear bankruptcy. And all those ski resorts must be worried. And I have noticed that catalogs now feature sweaters in their summer mailings. Brainwashing-they think they can get rid of all of that unsold sweater inventory sitting around in their warehouses by telling us that wearing one in the summer is totally fashionable. As if we all need that extra layer on chilly 80 degree summer evenings.

In the meantime, I carry a little silk fan around with me in my purse, I drink water like it’s going out of style, and I thank heaven for anti-perspirant. And I say a prayer daily that my ice maker won’t go on the fritz.

August is coming. The neighbor kids won’t be setting up lemonade stands-they will be offering breakfast specials: two eggs, sunny side up, fried right here on the sidewalk!

 

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