Vacation. Ten days with a two-year old boy. The best. Two year-olds are joyful people. If you happen to have a two-year old handy, here are some recommendations:
- Lying down in the grass after dark and looking at the stars. You may have to jump up and run around the yard a few times as well, but your two-year old might just show you where “Juptiper” is.
- Making lots of dirty jokes. We found that mentioning “poopy diapers” at inopportune moments was absolutely hilarious.
- Fishy crackers are very delicious and sharable. We prefer the “regu” kind to the pretzel kind.
- Picnics on towels. Can’t be beat. Don’t use napkins—just let the melon juice run down all over your chin.
- Shirt hems are excellent for wiping runny noses.
- Taking a tubber.
- You know that Apple Watch app on your phone that you can’t remove? Two-year olds LOVE all the instructional videos. Over and over and over and over.
- As a matter of fact, two-year olds can find stuff on your iPhone that you had NO idea existed. Daniel Tiger. Who knew?
- The very best Little Piggy is the one who had roast beef.
- If there are broccoli florets, carrots, and ranch dressing on a plate, the thing that is most delicious with the ranch dressing is a finger.
- HUGS. You have to sneak them in very fast, because two-year olds are very, very busy.
I am now home, with only a husband to keep me company. He is no fun at all.