There is a social media frenzy going on right now. I guess frenzies on social media are quite common, but right now, there are a lot of people getting very judgy about things. I am appointing myself as mother to everybody, and putting you all in time out. Let’s just simmer down!

First of all, Bruce Jenner is a very courageous person, and frankly, now that she is Caitlyn, I applaud her. She looks beautiful. Those of you who think it is a publicity stunt are certainly entitled to your opinion. But it seems to me that there are way easier ways to get publicity than changing your sexual identity surgically. So let’s all let Caitlyn be. I just wish I looked that good in an evening gown.

Then there is a woman who for some reason decided to change her racial identity. She used a lot of tanning products, curled her hair, and then became the head of the NAACP in Spokane. I have no idea why she did this. But once again, although it might be complicated and fraught with sociological issues, now is not the time to criticize the quality of her afro.

Free range parenting? Oh, boy. All I can say about that is I remember the first time I let my third-grader go to the park all by herself, and she ended up with a concussion, the emergency room, and a broken ankle. That certainly made me rethink free-ranging it. Now I worry whenever I see kids playing without any adults present. I have to restrain myself from threatening to call their parents or herding them home. Just saying.

There are some things that we can all get very righteous about, though. We can just judge, judge, and then judge some more. As a matter of fact, let’s just get nasty about

  • Pets or children left in hot cars
  • Animal abuse
  • School shootings
  • Terrorism
  • Racism
  • War

Those are inarguable. But here’s another list of things I feel perfectly judgy about

  • People who have snakes as pets
  • Manscaping
  • Stilettos—why on earth aren’t women refusing to wear these?
  • Tongue piercing
  • Why people think salmon is delicious
  • Everybody wearing earbuds all the time
  • Waiters who squat by the table and call you “you guys”
  • Tasting menus
  • Improper pronoun reference
  • Misspelled tattoos

I could go on and on. But I have a lot to do. They are tweeting about John Stamos getting a DUI. And Goat Selfies. This is OUTRAGEOUS.  Gotta go chime in!

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