HOW MANY TURTLE DOVES?

Happy holidays. I am not staying here long, because I have to:

  1. Get all the cat hair off the furniture. This will use up my carbon footprint allotment of tape for the rest of my life. But some house guests have allergies.
  2. Wrap the final gifts. Oops. More tape.
  3. Hang the stockings with care. This is nearly impossible without using nails, but I don’t want nail holes in my mantel, and those stylish stocking holders made of brass cost about $25 apiece. Eight stockings. You do the math. Necessity is the mother of invention.
  4. Go to the store for all the stuff the house guests need for breakfast. Gosh. Why is it that every single one of them needs something different? And it all has to be organic?
  5. Vacuum. Again.
  6. Clean the bathrooms and tell my husband if he has to poop, go to the YMCA to do it.
  7. Make some chili. Get Beano.
  8. Take a shower, for heaven’s sake.
  9. Scoot the cats off of anything upholstered.
  10. Wish all of you happy holidays, with blazing fires, great gifts, delicious food, and fun with family.
  11. Right. Clean the fireplace.
Be Sociable, Share!
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.