THINGS THAT WE WISH WE COULD ASK THAT DOC AT THE COCKTAIL PARTY

I have been having these pains behind my right eye when I watch more than three hours of HGTV  at one sitting. Could this be a tumor? Would eye drops help?

Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? Don’t you just love it?

Whenever I blow my nose, my ears itch. Is this serious? And can people drown using Neti Pots?

Have you ever given yourself an enema?

Is there such a thing as pre-dementia? Like is forgetting where your car keys are more than twice a week serious?

How do you know if you have hemmorhoids?

I get backaches now whenever I vacuum. Is this arthritis? Or should I worry that I might have some sort of slipped disc? Should I make my husband do all the vacuuming?

If you wake up with a headache, is that a symptom of a brain tumor? And what exactly makes certain brain tumors inoperable, anyway?

Has a patient ever farted during an examination?

What do you think this spot is on my tongue? Should I be worried?

Does your wife get her mammogram results faster than the rest of us?

And really, can you just look at my neck for a minute and tell me what you think this IS?

Hey, how is this for an idea? Since all your patients have to be naked under paper gowns, have you ever thought of wearing paper pants? Or at least taking your shirt off when you enter the exam room, just to kind of equalize things?

Can you give yourself a shot without flinching?

And, really—here is the one that we ALL want to ask male gynecologists:

How on earth can you even think about sex after looking at vaginas all day?

I have multiple doctors in  my neighborhood. But for some reason, I am never invited to their parties.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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