STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS VACUUMING

This seems so futile; I do it over and over. I wish I could just go take a nap.

Housework is never done. So maybe I should just stop doing it altogether.

Although my Mother would say (may she rest in peace) that I never have done housework; I just do damage control.

I bet Mom hated doing stairs.

I am going to say the hell with it and have cake for lunch.

My God, another Stinkbug. These things could survive a nuclear holocaust. I wonder if somebody is studying this; we could all use the kind of immune systems these insects have…

This carpeting is over twenty years old. Good God.

Is that body odor? *sniffs shirt* oh, yeah, the onions from last night.

What is it about aging? I never used to get gas from eating onions.

I  wonder how many millions of dollars Mr. Dyson made from inventing this vacuum cleaner. It really doesn’t lose suction.

I could use liposuction on my thighs, but I hear it really hurts and isn’t covered by health insurance. That sucks. Hahahahahaha.

I hope they have something interesting on TV tonight. I am getting tired of the Olympics. I bet those athlete’s moms got tired of schlepping them back and forth to the ice rink. And that kid who turned his back yard into a “slope style” arena? His mom is a saint…and what is with curling, anyway? Boring, boring. I can’t imagine those athlete’s moms. Sitting in some cold arena, watching their kids push rocks around. Snoozer.

I need a nap. But then I won’t sleep tonight. There should be some sort of club for insomniacs. Oh, yeah. Twitter.

I wouldn’t have named it Twitter; “tweeting” sounds so stupid. I would have called it “Talkster.” Yeah. Then you would just be “talking.” And “Facebook.” Shoot. I would call it “Spybook.” I bet if somebody wrote a thriller about a killer who amassed all of somebody’s tweets and Facebook posts and then stalked them, it would be scary. Wait. That probably happens every day.

Omg, these baseboards are disgusting.

And dusting? Pointless in this house. Here, I’ll just use my sleeve. Presto. Thank God Mom died before she knew just exactly how I go about my daily activities around here.

I really should throw in a load of laundry. I can’t believe Mom changed our sheets every week. Let’s see, the last time I did ours was…a month ago. What was that noise? Mom turning over in her grave, probably. But she never had a career. So she had to do stuff like changing sheets. Thank heaven for Women’s Liberation.

I never burned a bra; they are expensive! 

I wonder if Gloria Steinem has a maid. I bet she does. Gloria would never waste her brain on empty tasks like cleaning bathrooms. Oh, my God; I need to clean the tubs. Maybe I should make a spreadsheet for cleaning tasks. It might help me become more organized and free up some more time for things I really enjoy doing.

Like napping.


 

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