PALEO SCHMALEO

We have gone too far with all of this diet business. I know, we all fear death. And goodness, we want to be hale and hearty for our entire lives. But I want to be the voice of reason here, amid the wilderness of those like Dr. Oz, who daily preach to us about what we should and shouldn’t consume. There are pundits out there who constantly update us on how much we should weigh and how we should go about getting to that magic number. 

Thank goodness that man who said that we have to be on the verge of starvation in order to live a long life was debunked. I think we can all agree that life without pancakes just isn’t worth living. And for heaven’s sake, if we all drank the amount of water we are supposed to, no one would be able to leave the bathroom. 

I am starting to see references all over the place for something called the Paleo Diet. Its proponents apparently think that the cave men were onto something: those nuts, seeds, and dinosaur cutlets. Modern day dieters are encouraged to hark back to the days when we were lucky to eat and not be eaten. So an entire school of dieting thought has grown around cave man menus. 

Here’s the thing. Let’s just be completely honest here. Is it realistic to yearn for the days when a full stomach meant chomping down on your own weight in roots and berries? Is a life without grain really worth living? And eating only grass fed meat? Seems a bit elitist to me. 

I know of few humans who can sustain a diet that excludes so many things. Oh, yes, there are zealots out there. But my feeling is that the paleo guy was just looking to make some bucks, and he thought to himself, “Well, Atkins has been covered. The Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig are all over the place. What can I do to be different? Oh yeah! CAVE MEN!” 

I would be willing to bet that if we invited some cave men over for dinner and served them a nice roast chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy, they would be thrilled. And I would bet my 401K that not one cave man would turn down a piece of chocolate cake. 

I have said it once, and I will say it again: get real, people! Marie Antoinette was spot ON. We all want to eat cake. So there is absolutely no value in deluding ourselves. A life well lived is a life worth living. One based on the scavengings of the Neanderthals and their buddies? Not so much. 

Pass the potato chips, please.

 

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