IT’S BECAUSE OF THE BALLS.

There is gloomy stuff going on all around the globe. Wars, terrorism, racism, and politcians just being themselves. It gets discouraging. And none of it is my fault. 

As a matter of fact, none of it is women’s fault. Women are loving and maternal. They espouse peace. They nest. They make bread pudding with lemon curd. They change the beds, starch the collars, and walk the dogs. Women have the babies. 

Women are just primo. We nurse the sick (I know, there are male nurses, but indulge me in this), we pull the weeds, and we clean the toilets. We listen to the same “short man goes into a bar” joke hundreds of times, and we laugh. We have the faces that launch ships (well, this may not be where I want to go with this). 

The world is a better place because we inhabit it. So what, do you ask, do the men contribute? 

Well, as far as I can see, boys start out on the feisty side. They do disgusting things like farting and nose picking. They seem to enjoy beating up on one another. Boys love to play with guns. Boys also seem to love to shove each other, get in fist fights, and look up girls’ skirts. Then they grow up to be men.  Things go from bad to worse. 

Men cause border skirmishes that turn into wars. They develop weapons of mass destruction. Their testosterone knows no bounds. Let me see: waterboarding, crucifiction, show-downs, gangs, and pornography. Good grief. 

I know. Every man has a mother. And we raise them up to be men. So I guess we have to take some of the blame for it. But really, how many mothers have you seen saying things like, “Stop hitting your brother!” or “If I see you shoot your brother with your finger gun again, you will have to go to your room!” Mothers wring their hands over stuff like Red Ryder BB guns,  GI Joes, transformers, and firecrackers. But we are outnumbered. 

There are violent shows on TV. Oh, and those video games! What is a mother to do? I don’t know the answer to any of this. We all wish for less violence. There doesn’t seem to be a solution. Boys will be boys. What can be done? 

Lop off a few balls, maybe?

 

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