THE POOP DECK, LITERALLY

My spouse and I have never been interested in “cruising.” The kind on a ship. There are multiple reasons for this. First of all, we feel that if you have to take medicine to keep you from vomiting the entire time you are on vacation, what kind of a vacation is it, anyway? Secondly, neither one of us feels that going to sea in what is basically our local shopping mall sounds entertaining. And finally, having seventeen meals a day just isn’t what we call a motivation for a vacation. 

So you can imagine our reaction upon reading about the Carnival ship that lost power, soaking its thousands of vacationers in sewage. The horror! Here were  four thousand people, all of them with visions of Zumba classes, having little drinks with umbrellas, and going to see Las Vegas type shows—instead, they were overcome with stink, having to line up for Pop Tarts, and many of them forced to sleep on deck to avoid having excreta drip on them. 

And this isn’t the first time Carnival has experienced a power outage, causing unspeakable things to happen to their “guests.” And the remedy to all of this bad publicity (I call it the news) is to offer discounts on cruises, to entice unwary honeymooners and bored senior citizens to “see the world, participate in dance contests, and don’t forget your Dramamine.”

It seems to work. Lots of people still go on cruises.  I guess I am a pessimist. Once I read about a disaster, I am leery of doing anything to invite a similar fate. If I hear of a plane crash, I thank heavens that I don’t have any overseas trips planned. Black ice? I stay home. I always get a flu shot. I am a hand washer. I never again eat that last thing I had before I vomited. You get the picture. 

I am so glad that all of those people finally made it home. Carnival is giving them their money back, plus five hundred dollars. I guess the five hundred is to make them feel better. I wonder if it will. Maybe Carnival will also give them a gift certificate for a free cruise. That might work.

One time, there was a fake fingernail in my salad, and the restaurant gave me a voucher for a free entrée. I still have it. An optimist would have ordered lobster.

 

 

 

 

 

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