LETTER TO LUCY

Dear Lucy, 

As a professional personal shopper, you must deal with all kinds of people. However, I am fairly certain that you have not been up against someone like me. I usually hand my hairdressers, manicurists, and cosmetologists a list of my requirements. I forgot to bring that list with me at our first appointment! Imagine my chagrin! So I thought I would just dash off a little note to you with a few hints to help you select the two outfits I will need for the June wedding. 

At the rehearsal dinner, the mother of the bride is usually chic and unobtrusive. As a matter of fact, at all the weddings I have attended, I have never even NOTICED the bride’s Mom. This is a matter of concern to me, since I feel giving birth to the bride automatically makes me a celebrity at the wedding. I would like an outfit for the Friday evening festivities that will make me resemble Katherine Hepburn as much as possible. I do have Spanx, so svelteness won’t be too much of an issue, and I have always felt that I look wonderful in stand up collars. 

Before we go too much further, I should also let you know that there are certain things that I just can’t wear. Among them are sleeveless tops, stiletto heels, hats of any kind, strapless things, or anything involving a skirt. I have problematic underarms, I have fallen off too many pairs of high heels to mention, and I look ridiculous in hats. I stopped wearing panty hose twenty years ago. This doesn’t limit your selections much, does it? Certainly a professional like you has little trouble with a small list like mine. 

At the wedding, I want to continue with the Katherine Hepburn theme, but perhaps we can just kick it up a notch? I have always loved linen, but it does wrinkle so. Do you have any suggestions? Pastels are a no-no, but I have always felt superb in turquoise or hot pink. I feel that sequins are perhaps a bit too much, but I am not opposed to wearing every diamond that I possess. Can you work with me on this?  Satin is nice, but it gives me hot flashes. I am also a big fan of scarves, but there again; the spectre of the hot flash rears its ugly head. No worries—you probably deal with this every day. 

I am so looking forward to meeting with you in March. I am sure you will have a fitting room stocked with wonderful garments for me to try. I can’t wait to see what you choose. What a wonderful job you have! Such fun, breezing through the store, plucking things off the racks, mixing and matching. It must not even seem like a real job to you. I envy you, just shopping for a living. See you soon! MOLLY

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