IN A PERFECT WORLD

In a perfect world:

  • My house would be sold.
  • I would be mistaken for Meryl Streep.
  • I would hate dessert.
  • My husband would be a harpist, not an accordionist.
  • Pancakes would be good for you.
  • I would fall asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.
  • Politics would be boring.
  • The climate would insist on staying the same.
  • Zantac would still be on the market.
  • Donald would be a great first name.
  • I would have fifteen best friends.
  • Aspirin would cure cancer.
  • We could all sing Baby Shark once and then stop.
  • All dogs would be friendly.
  • The day after Christmas would not be depressing.
  • My roots would grow in black.
  • We would all know how to operate our devices.
  • No one would need deodorant.
  • Eggnog would be outlawed.
  • I would love hiking.
  • Tums would come in chocolate flavor.
  • Nobody would misunderstand how to correctly use the apostrophe.
  • Grocery store tomatoes would be delicious.
  • My house would be sold.
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