I became acquainted with bestselling author Jamie Ford on Goodreads, the “Facebook” for readers and writers. It is a wonderful site. I have found that authors are very approachable; and some, like Jamie Ford, are gracious enough to take time to have great conversations with their readers. I loved his first book, Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet and was equally enthralled with his second, Songs of Willow Frost. Jamie kindly agreed to an interview with me!

Jamie, your books are so heartbreakingly focused on family, loss, and the experience of being Asian in our American, WASP-centric culture. Readers always want to know if there is an autobiographical quotient in novels. How much of your own experience is reflected in your books?

Hmmm…the books aren’t biographical or autobiographical, but they’re definitely infused with a lot of familial angst. By that I mean, I’d been tinkering with fiction for years, but I never felt anything in my writing until my parents passed away. Only then did I have an emotional well to draw upon. As heartbreaking as I sounds––it’s true when I say that my real writing career began when I wrote my parent’s obituaries.

I know you must be working on a new book. Can you share a little about it?

Yeah! I’m always excited to talk about my new love, which is always what I’m working on currently. The new book (which doesn’t have a title yet, but it does have a deadline, so as I get closer to the due date hopefully a title will reveal itself) is about a boy who was raffled off at the 1909 world’s fair in Seattle. True story! No one knows whatever happened to this boy so I’m writing his life, which is bookended between 1909 and the other Seattle world’s fair in 1962. Oh, and it’s a love story.

Also, on a side note, I do have a short story in THE END IS NIGH, a collection of apocalyptic fiction, which was just released. My story that appears there is set in Seattle, circa 1910, and is my first foray into Steampunk.

I always wonder about authors as readers. What annoys you most about books you read? Is there something that would cause you to put a book down without finishing it?

I need a story to sink my teeth into. I get weary of books that are all about the linguistic jiu-jitsu on the page. I love beautiful, florid prose, but if the story is so subtle as to be almost non-existent, I quickly lose interest. That’s why I’m such a fan of Young Adult fiction (YA), because it’s all about storytelling.

Conversely, what book/s have you absolutely known you would love from the first paragraph?

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. Most books by Pat Conroy, Sherman Alexie, and any essay by Harlan Ellison––these are writers who sink such deep story hooks from right out of the gate, immersed in poetic, musical language. To quote a cheesy line from Jerry Maguire, they always have me at “hello.”

As a reader, what do you wish you could tell authors?

Stop writing for other authors (or critics, who are usually failed authors)—stop being a performance writer. Be a storyteller, and a damn good one, and I’ll follow your characters into the wee hours of the night. I will skip my children’s dentist appointments. I will read your books while the house is on fire.

Is there a book that you had trouble getting into, but you are glad you stuck with it and finished?

American Pastoral by Philip Roth. He kind of goes on these weird historical tangents and goes on and on and on and on, and when he catches his breath he goes on and on some more. The story is dark, bleak, and complex, but I absolutely loved that book.

When you want to relax, what do you do?

In the winter, I catch up on all the great television that’s out there these days: House of Cards, Downton Abby, Mad Men, etc. In the summer, I go hiking and climbing along the Rocky Mountain Front and in Glacier National Park––one of the splendorous benefits of living in Montana, which means land of mountains. I’m relaxed half the year, then super active. Total yin/yang thing when you think about it.

Do you watch television? What show/s do you like? Is there one you watch that is a “guilty pleasure?” (Even if it is Duck Dynasty?)

See above. Let’s see, guilty pleasure? I’ve probably watched Anchorman more times than I should admit.

If you had to give us a list of five books NEVER to read, which ones would be on it?

The Scarlet Letter (a blunt object used to turn teenagers into non-readers), Finnegan’s Wake (fun to appreciate, but technically, unreadable), plays (see them, don’t read them), anything by Salman Rushdie (too much hype), and a book called Rabbit Years (my first, discarded novel. Please, NEVER read this. It’s awful).

How about a list of five books everyone SHOULD read?

Deathbird Stories by Harlan Ellison. Like Neil Gaiman? Everyone likes Neil Gaiman, right? This is the book that put Neil’s feet on the path to dark, lush, gothic fiction. He’s even said, “Without Deathbird Stories, there would be no American Gods.”

The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven by Sherman Alexie. An amazing, beautiful thing happens when accomplished poets write prose.

Essex County by Jeff Lemire. Quite, subtle, and heartbreaking––everything you’d never expect a graphic novel to be. Treat yourself to this fine book.

Please Look After Mom by Kyung-sook Shen. American’s are jingoistic readers. We just don’t read much in translation. This book sold millions worldwide and when it was finally translated into English I inhaled the story and understood why. If you don’t read much foreign literature, check this out. It’ll open your eyes.

Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang. Science Fiction used to be read to BLOW THE READERS MIND—to dazzle us with concepts we’d never considered. Now technology has caught up to the foils of the fifties. Ted always takes the genre to a whole other place.

Finally, if you could interview yourself, what question would you just loved to be asked? And what would be the answer?

What is your go-to karoke song?

Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meat Loaf, of course.

Check Jamie’s books out at the links below.

This seems so futile; I do it over and over. I wish I could just go take a nap.

Housework is never done. So maybe I should just stop doing it altogether.

Although my Mother would say (may she rest in peace) that I never have done housework; I just do damage control.

I bet Mom hated doing stairs.

I am going to say the hell with it and have cake for lunch.

My God, another Stinkbug. These things could survive a nuclear holocaust. I wonder if somebody is studying this; we could all use the kind of immune systems these insects have…

This carpeting is over twenty years old. Good God.

Is that body odor? *sniffs shirt* oh, yeah, the onions from last night.

What is it about aging? I never used to get gas from eating onions.

I  wonder how many millions of dollars Mr. Dyson made from inventing this vacuum cleaner. It really doesn’t lose suction.

I could use liposuction on my thighs, but I hear it really hurts and isn’t covered by health insurance. That sucks. Hahahahahaha.

I hope they have something interesting on TV tonight. I am getting tired of the Olympics. I bet those athlete’s moms got tired of schlepping them back and forth to the ice rink. And that kid who turned his back yard into a “slope style” arena? His mom is a saint…and what is with curling, anyway? Boring, boring. I can’t imagine those athlete’s moms. Sitting in some cold arena, watching their kids push rocks around. Snoozer.

I need a nap. But then I won’t sleep tonight. There should be some sort of club for insomniacs. Oh, yeah. Twitter.

I wouldn’t have named it Twitter; “tweeting” sounds so stupid. I would have called it “Talkster.” Yeah. Then you would just be “talking.” And “Facebook.” Shoot. I would call it “Spybook.” I bet if somebody wrote a thriller about a killer who amassed all of somebody’s tweets and Facebook posts and then stalked them, it would be scary. Wait. That probably happens every day.

Omg, these baseboards are disgusting.

And dusting? Pointless in this house. Here, I’ll just use my sleeve. Presto. Thank God Mom died before she knew just exactly how I go about my daily activities around here.

I really should throw in a load of laundry. I can’t believe Mom changed our sheets every week. Let’s see, the last time I did ours was…a month ago. What was that noise? Mom turning over in her grave, probably. But she never had a career. So she had to do stuff like changing sheets. Thank heaven for Women’s Liberation.

I never burned a bra; they are expensive! 

I wonder if Gloria Steinem has a maid. I bet she does. Gloria would never waste her brain on empty tasks like cleaning bathrooms. Oh, my God; I need to clean the tubs. Maybe I should make a spreadsheet for cleaning tasks. It might help me become more organized and free up some more time for things I really enjoy doing.

Like napping.

 

I just happened across an article written by an expert. I love these. They give us ways to enrich our lives in “ten easy steps.” This one was about how to deepen the connection with your partner. I have been with the same partner for 43 years, and I am not sure how much deeper I want to go, but I thought “Hell, why not? Let’s just see if these experts know what they are talking about.”

This particular article provided ten questions you can ask your partner every day (well, that will get old) in order to plumb the depths and connect on some sort of cosmic level. Yeah. So here it went:

How was your day today?  “Well, it was kind of cold in the basement. You know that one of the cats is peeing in the corner by the water heater?

What do you need from me right now? “Huh?”

What are you looking forward to today, this week, and this month?  “Huh?”

Am I being a good spouse to you?  “Huh?”

If you could be a character in any book, which character would you be, and why? “Huh?”

Describe your perfect day.  “That’s easy. Coffee, golf, accordion practice, and that stuff you make with sauerkraut and sausage.”

What is your greatest fear? “That you will keep asking me these questions. I have to poop.”

I feel so completely in tune with my husband. And it only took eight questions! We are way ahead of the curve on this! Our marriage is so full of meaning and depth. We are one. And I realize just how in tune we actually are. Because now I have to poop.

I love social media. I have met so many wonderful and talented authors there! Consuelo Saah Baehr is one of them. I have read all of her books, and I was a fan before I made her acquaintance. Here is an interview I had with her about writing.

Why do you write?

I have two insatiable needs.  I need constant approval (I only found this out recently) and I want to find out who the heck I am.  Writing is the delivery system I have chosen to satisfy those needs.

Do you like to write?

Anyone who tells you they love writing is lying or demented. You have to shut off all the fun stuff and get down to business in a serious way.  Sometimes a long walk or a long shower will flood me with ideas for a current project or for a new project and I rush to the computer.  Seldom are these ideas reliable but they do get me to sit down and often lead to something solid. The writing monkey chose me a very long time ago and he/she is still on my back. I don’t have a say in the matter.  If I’m not writing, I don’t feel worthwhile. (I also don’t feel worthwhile if I AM writing.)

How do you choose what to write about?

I don’t consciously choose a specific story.  It begins with a character with traits I admire even if those traits are not completely admirable. The character will hound me with their thoughts and needs, sometimes for years. When I finally give in and begin to write, I am always astonished by the way the character reacts to life events and choices.  This was true with One Hundred Open Houses and Nothing To Lose.

I try to use settings that are familiar and hold my interest.  In Nothing To Lose it was the workings of a big department store and the internal drama that the customers don’t see.  In One Hundred Open Houses it is the thrill of inspecting other people’s houses and trying on their lives.

What was the hardest book to write?

In terms of time and commitment to getting it right, I would say Daughters because the story took place in another century and the setting was a small Christian village outside of Jerusalem. I used three sources for every fact.  I did a year’s worth of research including many hours of oral history.  I’m proud to have written about Christians living in Palestine because so little has been done to humanize the Palestinians. Readers often cite this fact with surprise and gratitude.  The book has over 120 five star reviews on Amazon.  When it was traditionally published it was translated into 15 languages.

Do you think of yourself as a humorous writer, and is it hard to write humor?

People are too enamored of humor.  When women describe the man of their dreams, humor is always at the top.  Really?  Funny men seldom make a lot of money.   Humor is peculiar and very personal.   I hardly ever laugh out loud and I hardly ever laugh when I’m alone.  Sometimes physical humor (someone falling down, etc.) makes me laugh. The book that far outsells all of the others, Daughters, doesn’t have one humorous line in it.

Writing humor is not hard if you are willing to showcase the very worst things about yourself.  Think of it this way:  you are getting paid and/or admired for your faults.  If you have a colossal blind spot about housekeeping, lying, eating, hoarding, etc. and can manage to discuss it as if it is a secret virtue you share with your reader, you will do well with humor.

What’s the worst part of being a writer?

When people know you are a writer they will say, “Would I have read anything you’ve written?”  If you wanted to clear the room, you could answer: “No, you ignorant jerk.  You would have not.”  You can simply say “No.”  The alternative is to recite a laundry list of everything you’ve written and wait like a schlump for the person to recognize a title.  Where is the payoff here?  There is no payoff. This is a lose/lose situation.  My advice?  Never tell anyone you are a writer.  By the way the second question is always: Have any of your books been made into movies? Always say yes.  And when they ask the title just fill in one of Johnny Depp’s movies.

So far you have made being a writer sound simply horrid.  Do you get any pleasure out of it at all?

Yes.  I get enormous pleasure from writing my blog.  I see my blog as the present the writing monkey has given me for sticking around all these years.  In a way, writing a blog is a little like being a copywriter at a big department store (my first writing job). If you write a good ad, you see the customers rushing in to buy the merchandise the next day.  They are confirming that you wrote a winning ad.  With blogging, these wonderful readers and followers weigh in the next morning also to let you know that you have mirrored their lives or given them a chuckle or share a very human fault.  It’s all good.

Check out her books at the links below.

 

 

Articles abound on how to keep your marriage going. “Ten Tips for a Happy Marriage,” “How to Keep the Love Alive After Twenty Years,” “Stay Sexy: How to Rekindle that Bedroom Fire,” and my favorite, “Love is Always Having to Say You’re Sorry.”

Those have all been written. But they don’t address one very important issue. One that we all face. One that, if handled correctly, will keep your spouse so happy. It concerns what goes on in every family room in middle America. In families who have at least one iPad, two iPhones, Twitter, and Facebook.

HIM: So you decided that you need to paint the kitchen.

HER: Yes, that is what I just posted on Facebook.

HIM: Joe Smith has a new car.

HER: I know. He is my Facebook friend, too.

HIM: Ah, you think that Bob Costas has pinkeye.

HER: Yes. I just tweeted that.

HIM: The cat that jumps in all the boxes has a new kitten friend.

HER: I KNOW! I am the one who posted that video. Why do you insist on reading me my own Facebook and Twitter feeds out loud? Do you think I somehow missed them?

HIM:  I am just trying to make conversation.

HER: By reading me my own social media feeds? Isn’t there anything interesting on your Facebook timeline?

HIM:  Well, I don’t really use Facebook. I just check in to see what you are saying.

HER: I AM SITTING RIGHT HERE! You can have an actual conversation with me! You don’t need to recite my Facebook feed! And you don’t even Tweet, so why you are on Twitter at all is a total mystery.

HIM: I like to see what you Tweet.

HER:  So you can read it back to me?

HIM:  I don’t know why you are so huffy.

HER: (sighing)

HIM: Oh, our daughter says that it is 65 degrees today in Los Angeles.

HER: OMG, now you are going to read all of the group text messages OUT LOUD also?

HIM:  (picking up the newspaper) “ARCTIC COLD CONTINUES…”

So, for all those couples out there who have been married for over twenty years? You empty nesters?  The key to a happy marriage?

One of you should keep your day job. Forever.